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The Epiphany Of Ta-tas

— Wednesday, November 15th, Personal

In an instant, I was filled with the orange gold milk of human kindness. It siphoned into my lungs and I was breathing it, heaving it throughout the car like the sparkling flame of a Elysian dragon. I could not believe my good fortune at having gazed upon this singular word, communicated through the medium of earth and time like a whisper spoken through the ages. Who among us had the gumption to pen such a script?


NEWS: Crying Study Reveals Open Weeping Very Cool and Slimming

— Friday, June 2nd, Uncategorized

This week scientists discovered through a series of very specific trials that involved legitimate science and more than a few doctors standing around in enlarged playtex goggles and arm length black plastic gloves, that the act of weeping every single day can have the effect of making one appear increasingly cool and, the aforementioned science suggests, overall slimmer and more attractive.


LIVE GOATPLAY: MASS EFFECT 2

and — Tuesday, June 7th, Games

Emma and Zoe are working on creating the first live goatplay for Mass Effect 2! PLEASE (omg PLEEEASE) watch our trailer so that we might finally sail off into Valhalla and be at peace!


THIS IS A FAT EMERGENCY

— Thursday, April 28th, Personal, Uncategorized

I just discovered a web series called "The Fat One" about two days ago when Kayla sent it to me with the words "This looks like something you'd be interested in, you wide-load lard barge".


Millicent, At The End Of Days

and — Wednesday, April 27th, Personal

Today, the Goats watched an internet video in the vein of “what we made you think while you were on copious pain meds” oeuvre, which is quite popular! People enjoy imposing confusion and subterfuge upon their loved ones, and why wouldn’t they?